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Evils of the Night

Evils of the Night is ostensibly about a group of horny teenagers being preyed upon by two evil mechanics who have been hired by aliens who need blood to save their race in some way that isn't really explained. The real purpose of the movie is to show off nubile young female bodies to a synth-pop soundtrack. It can be fun to watch if you are one of those people that likes bad horror movies. (My Mystery Science Theater 3000 dvd collection attests that I am one of those people.) If you like your horror movies to actually be scary, and not inadvertently funny, this movie might not be for you.

The aliens in the movie pack the real star power. The leader of the E.T. menace is Dr. Kozmar, played by John Carradine. If you are a fan of old movies you know Carradine from the dozens of films he made, including The Grapes of Wrath, Portnoy's Complaint, and The Hound of the Baskervilles. Classic horror buffs are familiar with him from movies like The Mummy's Ghost, The invisible Man's Revenge, and House of Frankenstein. Also four of his sons, David, Robert, Keith, and Bruce, became actors.
The other two prominent aliens are played by Julie Newmar and Tina Louise. Newmar is probably most well known as Catwoman in the 1960s Batman show starring Adam West. She was also name checked in the title of the Wesley Snipes, Patrick Swayze, and John Leguizamo drag queen movie, To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything! Julie Newmar. She made many other appearances in both film and television, even doing voice work in a couple of animated Batman films as Catwoman in 2016 and 2017.
Tina Louise is most famous for being Ginger on Gilligan's Island. Interestingly, she was the only cast member of that show to refuse to come back for the two reunion movies. Her appearance in Evils of the Night would indicate that refusal was not based on the quality of the material. Tina did keep working after Gilligan's Island though, and her last credit (as of this writing) was in 2015 in the movie White Lillies. The two mechanics who carry out the sinister schemes of the aliens were played by a couple of other formerly notable Hollywood names, Neville Brand and Aldo Ray. In amongst all this faded tinseltown royalty is porn star Amber Lynn to round out the cast.
The movie follows a group of teens camping near the beach, who all start to mysteriously disappear only to end up in a hospital that somehow the aliens have commandeered. While the aliens need the teens alive to harvest their blood, the trauma ends up being too much for them and they die. The two mechanics wear ski masks as they abduct the kids, but somehow never manage to give a sense of menace. The aliens don't really interact with the kids very much themselves, and it is actually kind of odd that the film used big names on such inessential roles.
There is a lot of nudity to satisfy all your prurient interests, as well as some simulated sex scenes that were pretty par for the course for 80s horror flicks. The movie quite obviously spent all their money getting Carradine, Newmar, and Louise, and what was left over was spent on the UFO special effect that opens and closes the movie. The acting is at about the level you'd expect in this kind of film, with the kids being more fun to watch than the old pros, who you can tell don't really want to be there. A lot of the action doesn't make sense, like the evil mechanic who shrugs of getting a drill bit through the chest, but can't seem to move out of the way of a slowly descending car on a hydraulic lift. The aliens initial plan, and most of their actions in the movie, don't seem to follow any sort of logic. It's pretty standard fare for a low budget movie of the time really. The end of the movie stays true to the rest of the fim by making no sense and being pretty dumb. The only thing keeping this movie from being a perfect MST3K candidate is all the nudity and sex. Somebody get Joel Hodgson on the phone, now that they have made the move to Netflix they don't have to be so squeaky clean all the time. Just another bit of fun, look at the spaceship in that poster above. Star Wars fans may find it familiar.


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